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Kindness to myself

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Vispi
(@vispi)
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One of the things I've always been aware of is that I can be quite self-deprecating and critical of myself. If I had 15 things to do, and I got 13 of them done, my focus would be on the two things I did not complete. I would have given myself a hard time about it. However, after a few weeks of applying personal agility and with the help of my accountability partner Torsten Hansen, I started to unlearn this behaviour. 

Breadcrumbs, WIP Limits and Accountability Partners/Buddies

Stopping at the end of every week and focussing on the things I had accomplished started to change the narrative in my head. Watching as the breadcrumb trail build up reinforced the positive story of how much I was accomplishing over the weeks. Of course, even having this view helped me better plan what I could more realistically accomplish the following week. The constant and consistent view of what I was getting to 'Done' seemed to help me understand at a deeper level what I could realistically accomplish in a week. Setting more realistic goals for the week created a cycle of positive reinforcement as I got more done of what I would originally plan. Finally, my accountability gently layered in some positive external reinforcement in what was being accomplished. Gentle, consistent reminders...

The Results

I am kinder. I am kinder to myself, and I am finding myself being kinder with others around me. Now, if I only accomplish 13 out the 15 jobs for the week, I take a moment to acknowledge what I could not complete, and then smile when I read through and remind myself of all the things I did complete. The 'voice of the critic' is gone. 

I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience?

 
Posted : 14/10/2019 5:55 pm

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