Kindness to myself  

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Vispi
New Member
Joined: 7 months  ago
Posts: 2
14/10/2019 6:55 pm  

One of the things I've always been aware of is that I can be quite self-deprecating and critical of myself. If I had 15 things to do, and I got 13 of them done, my focus would be on the two things I did not complete. I would have given myself a hard time about it. However, after a few weeks of applying personal agility and with the help of my accountability partner Torsten Hansen, I started to unlearn this behaviour. 

Breadcrumbs, WIP Limits and Accountability Partners/Buddies

Stopping at the end of every week and focussing on the things I had accomplished started to change the narrative in my head. Watching as the breadcrumb trail build up reinforced the positive story of how much I was accomplishing over the weeks. Of course, even having this view helped me better plan what I could more realistically accomplish the following week. The constant and consistent view of what I was getting to 'Done' seemed to help me understand at a deeper level what I could realistically accomplish in a week. Setting more realistic goals for the week created a cycle of positive reinforcement as I got more done of what I would originally plan. Finally, my accountability gently layered in some positive external reinforcement in what was being accomplished. Gentle, consistent reminders...

The Results

I am kinder. I am kinder to myself, and I am finding myself being kinder with others around me. Now, if I only accomplish 13 out the 15 jobs for the week, I take a moment to acknowledge what I could not complete, and then smile when I read through and remind myself of all the things I did complete. The 'voice of the critic' is gone. 

I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience?


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zielperson
New Member
Joined: 10 months  ago
Posts: 3
14/10/2019 9:08 pm  

In my case this tends to be a kind of a learning experience.

The goal is to learn what I am able to do in a given time (a week or two, which do you prefer?) .

So any sprint - one with lots of undone tasks the same as a very successful one - counts as pure learning experience. No judgement.

The truth I uncovered here though, that this is an ongoing thing.

You can't learn it one time and be done, knowing exactly how long you will take from then on.

Our persona and environment both change over time. 

So do our abilites and the type and scope and complexity of the projects we take on.

So this is a perpetual learning.

In time, it will reveal a lot about your character. Show you what it is that you really want. Introduce  your motivators and your distractions.

All this and more if you are kind to yourself and allow yourself to learn.

This post was modified 1 month  ago by zielperson

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zielperson
New Member
Joined: 10 months  ago
Posts: 3
14/10/2019 9:14 pm  

And I have to say - I have not found an accountability buddy yet.

 


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Vispi
New Member
Joined: 7 months  ago
Posts: 2
15/10/2019 7:56 am  

Hi @zeilperson. Yes, I agree entirely. It is a perpetual learning and discovery cycle.  Would it be worthwhile creating a forum post for people looking for accountability buddies?

If you are looking for an accountability buddy and would like to connect on LinkedIn, we could explore that possibility. 

This post was modified 1 month  ago by Vispi

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Shweta Jaiswal
New Member
Joined: 10 months  ago
Posts: 2
30/10/2019 6:06 am  

Kindness to myself reminds me of SELF LOVE and how vital it is for our happiness and peace of mind. After all Personal Agility brings more happiness and peace in our life.


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